A few times each year, Travis County Expo Center houses the most exciting sport you can’t watch with a Big Ticket.
Texas Roller Derby has been calling Austin home for twenty-five years now, and it’s not hard to understand why. Tonight’s bout is the Cherry Bombs versus the Rhinestones, with the Cherry Bombs boasting five wins of the league’s championship, the Calvello Cup. It’s going to be an explosive matchup, and the excited chatter is echoing off of the Expo Center walls well before the bout begins.
When I arrive, the Cherry Bombs are warming up on the track in corresponding slime green outfits, DIYed for personality. Their focus is intense, and their camaraderie even more so.
If you look closely, you’ll spot personal touches everywhere. A skater in a punk-rock inspired fursuit zips by with a homemade sign as an announcer explains the different derby positions. The skaters give themselves derby names (sometimes they’re plays on their given names, sometimes not) which they’ve painted somewhere on their clothing.
Flashes of gem-studded fishnets, brightly colored hair, and neon eyeliner blink past you like Christmas lights as each skater takes an introductory lap.
“We pride ourselves on being DIY, very punk rock, very alternative. We are self made,” says Hellooo Nurse! or “HeyHey”, “So, as such an underground, alternative, DIY thing--- I think that’s kind of what drives it.”
“Self-made” is the key phrase behind Texas Roller Derby. The league has been skater-owned and operated for the quarter century of its existence, which means everything is done by the skaters. That includes everything from merch designs, to video production, to building the track itself.
The skater-owned model ramps up the personal stakes for the skaters, and might explain why they play so hard from start to finish.
“I think that every single one of us has so much pride in what we do because we love it,” says HeyHey.
As for the bout itself? Well, the first major penalty is scored less than three minutes into the first quarter. The sport is played fast and unapologetic; skaters hit the floor, the walls, and each other as the jammers attempt to break through the opposing team’s four blockers.
Blink, and you’ll miss the shining instant that the first jammer bursts through the pack. Rum Punch is jamming for the Rhinestones, and she stands out as she breaks out into a run to gain momentum for her righteous scoring lap. This is the flow of roller derby--- the two teams tussle in a cluster around the track until a jammer fights their way through in an explosion of energy.
A jammer for the Cherry Bombs, aptly named “The Star”, is a crowd favorite as they break out grinning ear-to-ear, giving a parade float wave before charging forward to score.
Apart from winning at all costs, the other name of the game for Texas Roller Derby is entertainment. It’s in the nature of the game, but it’s also a core tenet unique to the league. Over by the commentators is a spinning prize wheel, each section labeled with a doodle and name of a different challenge-- “Dance Party”, “Pillow Fight”, and “Arm Wrestling” are just a few among several.
These are the punishment challenges for a minor penalty. The first of the evening is called “Shopping Cart” and involves a race in which two skaters must push their teammates along the banked track. It might be the only instance of a sports penalty that both teams are happy to receive.
“It’s cool to keep all those aspects in mind: entertaining, sportsmanship, and just being friends, because at the end of the day, we’re all friends. We’re all business partners,” adds HeyHey.
Texas Roller Derby provides a recurring space for all walks of life to get loud, make friends, and embrace what has historically made Austin the place it is: authenticity. Even when so much in the city has changed, this league proves that there is incredible staying power in doing what you love.
In a glorious breakthrough for the underdogs, the Rhinestones take home the win. It was a battle hard fought by both teams by way of wipeouts, masterfully precise skating maneuvers, and a penalty pillow fight. It must be the most adrenaline-pumping night in the city.
The next matchup, Putas Del Fuego versus Hellcats, will be on August 29th. Just one bout like the Rhinestones versus Cherry Bombs could get a newcomer hooked for life. It’s no wonder that the league has persisted for twenty-five years, and it’s no doubt that they will persist for twenty-five more.